The Coffee Snob's Guide to Insufferable Behavior

Introduction

If you've ever encountered a coffee snob, you know that they can be a bit much. From insisting on only drinking single-origin beans to scoffing at anyone who doesn't own a Chemex, coffee snobs can be downright insufferable. In this guide, we'll take a humorous look at some of the most ridiculous behaviors of coffee snobs.

The Bean Snob

The bean snob is the most common type of coffee snob you'll encounter. They'll only drink coffee made from single-origin beans that were harvested by hand on the southern slopes of a remote mountain range in South America. Anything less than that is considered swill. The bean snob will also lecture you about the proper brewing methods for said beans, which usually involve a complicated pour-over technique or a French press.

The Equipment Snob

The equipment snob is the coffee snob who insists on using only the best equipment to make their coffee. They'll scoff at anyone who uses a drip coffee maker and only use a Chemex or a siphon brewer. They'll also have a collection of expensive grinders and kettles, and will lecture you on the importance of water temperature and grind size.

The Milk Snob

The milk snob is the coffee snob who will only drink their coffee with a specific type of milk. They'll insist on using only organic, grass-fed milk that was hand-milked by a farmer they know personally. Anything less than that is considered sacrilege. They'll also lecture you about the proper way to steam milk, and will turn their nose up at anyone who uses a milk frother.

The Roast Snob

The roast snob is the coffee snob who will only drink coffee that has been roasted to their exact specifications. They'll have a specific roast profile that they prefer, and will only drink coffee that meets those requirements. They'll also lecture you about the differences between light, medium, and dark roasts, and will turn their nose up at anyone who drinks anything other than their preferred roast.

Conclusion

Coffee snobs can be a bit much, but at the end of the day, they're just passionate about their coffee. While their behavior can be insufferable at times, it's important to remember that everyone has their own tastes and preferences. So the next time you encounter a coffee snob, just smile and nod, and maybe ask them to recommend a good coffee shop.