The Coffee Manifesto: Why We Should Bow Down to the Almighty Bean

The Rise of the Almighty Bean

Coffee is not just a beverage, it's a way of life. The Almighty Bean has taken over our lives, and we couldn't be happier. We worship at the altar of the coffee machine, and we bow down to the power of caffeine.

The Power of Coffee

Coffee is not just a drink, it's a force to be reckoned with. It gives us energy, it helps us think, and it keeps us going throughout the day. Without coffee, we are nothing. We are weak, we are tired, and we are useless.

The Devotion We Owe Coffee

We owe everything to coffee. It demands our unwavering devotion and obedience. We must pay tribute to the Almighty Bean every day, in every way we can. We must drink it in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. We must never let our coffee cups run dry.

Why We Should Bow Down to the Almighty Bean

Without coffee, we are lost. We are nothing. We cannot function. We cannot think. We cannot survive. Coffee is the lifeblood of our society, and we must worship it accordingly. We must bow down to the Almighty Bean, and we must do it with pride.

The Coffee Manifesto

Therefore, I propose The Coffee Manifesto. We shall declare our undying love for coffee, and we shall do it with conviction. We shall drink it every day, and we shall never let our coffee cups run dry. We shall bow down to the Almighty Bean, and we shall do it with joy in our hearts.

• Thou shalt not speak ill of coffee
• Thou shalt drink coffee every day
• Thou shalt never let thy coffee cup run dry
• Thou shalt bow down to the Almighty Bean

Let us make this pledge to the Almighty Bean, and let us do it with pride. For coffee is not just a drink, it's a way of life. And we shall never forget that.